Ambition vs Contentment: In Search of a Middle Path

I see that the way my mindset has shaped over the years, is similar to how it is taking shape for many young people.

Ambitious, initially. And the society reinforces that ambition. But as one grows and realises how uncertain life is and how the race has no end (the chase is endless) the message from the society (and from the self) changes to that of finding contentment.

Often the conditioned mind finds it tough to alter the thought process. Sub-consciously, by now, the self - esteem is heavily intertwined with materialistic success. Self-love as well.

I find that a middle path can be very helpful (just in the same spirit as Buddha laid out the path to ending suffering - (not ending pain!)). Acknowledge the greed - but as Albert Ellis advises - Don't make it a "MUST". Your "PREFERENCE" is okay as it is simply being human. Your insistence that it must happen is being irrational.

Thoughts that the society and the self conditions us to have since childhood, but are deeply irrational:

I "must" always be happy and calm. Cognition: That I would "prefer" to be happy and calm always. But experiencing sadness, disappointment and anxiety are okay as well. Experiencing all the gamut of human emotions is ok and tolerable. Maybe enjoyable, sometimes.

I "must" do well to be loved and respected (by the self and others). Cognition: That I would prefer to have a higher compensation, better grades, (an excellent GMAT score!) but life is not all that bad without it as well.

I "must" be rich and powerful. Cognition: That I would prefer to be rich but life is in general enjoyable (or bearable) even with lesser money. That I would prefer to drive a Mercedes but an Uber can be not so bad as well. Especially if the music being played is nice! :)

However, if you insist on all this, make it a must, you create more misery out of the unpleasant emotions. Unpleasantness - you cannot avoid - part of human existence. More misery can be avoided.

Mindfully, watch the pain. The unpleasantness. At the same, cognitively, do not create more suffering out of it. (Easier said than done!)

The path above can be a stepping stone - seeing "musts" as "preferences". Eventually, one can move towards more and more peace - following whichever route the equanimous mind suggests as apt for the purpose.